This letter from a Mother to her Daughter's Stepmother is going viral online. It is easy to see why. Via Independent Journal Review:
To My Daughter’s Stepmom,
I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of
the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I
didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for
my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you
ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that
you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family
included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I
can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be
the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m
pretty sure you never planned on me being here.
But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.
In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter
would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you
would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to
you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil
swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman
would mother my child in my absence.
Then you arrived.
When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in
mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed
to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful.
You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you
were a young, sweet woman.
My plans were foiled.
I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was
just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately
softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why
are your ruining my plan?!
I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.
You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have
unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all
of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her
feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above
yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with
such grace.
I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live
in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her
mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my
absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never
reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing
job being that for her.
You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I
appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are
making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s
not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other
that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.
Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter
the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with
more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have
divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am
so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each
other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure
in one area can turn into a blessing in another.
I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You
are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited
to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that
makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride
when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving
hug each time we see each other.
I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother
cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life.
Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above
anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank
you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.
I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I
promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you
feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful
to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to
mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that
she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set
an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.
Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.
God bless you and I love you.
Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:
“Candice, I don’t know what to say. I am not good with
words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I
am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special …
Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to
my heart always. Love you.”
No comments:
Post a Comment